Tuesday, August 3, 2010
What Does It Mean to Be Fearless?
One of my friends tweeted that they “wish they were more fearless.” As I read what she said I thought by the mere fact that she is able to make the statement shows just how fearless that she is because she is BEing authentic. Being mindful and self-aware in the moment is pure fearlessness.
Owning your present state: happy, sad, anxious, confident, nervous, angry, deftly scared, etc. it is all relative. Being able to embrace who and where you are is so precious, and invaluable.
Fearlessness does not mean you are never scared.
FEARLESSNESS=Identifying and admitting your fears (to yourself) accepting that and ultimately doing it any way (at your pace). Some people barrel through their fears; some may take a L.I.F.E.time.
But at the end of the day, does it matter? Your L.I.F.E. is your journey.
I believe being fearless is rather simple. And this simplicity is what frightens us. We, as a culture, are so afraid to simply sit and BE with ourselves. We live in an era of iphones, blackberries, social networking, and everything is busy, busy, busy. We are all incessantly on the go. I’m definitely not knocking technology because it definitely serves its purpose. But we definitely can stand to sit still and smell the roses.
In working with our R4L teens our ultimate mission is to instill self-worth and fearlessness into their lives. The simple formula that I use and model are based on the 4CUS Principles™
4CUS Principles™
1. Decide: Write down your list of goals/desires or if that is intimidating start with one thing.
One of my good friends and considered to be the real-life Indiana Jones, John Goddard, made a decision at 15 years old to Live In Full Expectation (L.I.F.E.) He simply made a L.I.F.E. list (aka known as a bucket list). And he literally has taken it one step at a time. Find out more about his travels and his L.I.F.E. at www.johngoddard.info.
2. Imagine: When you wake up in the mornings and before you go to sleep close your eyes and visualize yourself being your goal; whatever that might be. Imagine what you hear, how you feel, etc. as you are BEing whatever you desire.
3. Think: Write your goal in the present progressive and be very specific. Think about the various ways you can help your dream come to fruition. Mind mapping is a very useful tool during this process. Ex: I am joyfully and successfully writing my first book by December 31, 2010! Say your dream/goal when you rise in the morning and before you sleep in the evenings.
www.mindmeister.com
4. Act: JUST TAKE ONE STEP AT A TIME. There is no rush. But because we live in a microwave society we think everything has to happen right away. Just put one foot in front of the other. Simply stay in your lane. Live your life. If you were driving on the highway and you attempted to get in someone else’s lane abruptly, you would crash. Ride out your L.I.F.E.
Remember there is no such thing as failure. Either you win or learn something. And you always win because you’re always learning.
Flexibility is Power. Remain open to the infinite possibilities that may come your way.
Some Fearless Individuals Who Took Their Passion and Created a Movement One Step At a Time:
Bill Gates, Microsoft
Mary McLeod Bethune, Bethune-Cookman University
Michael Dell, Dell Computers
Steven Spieldberg, Dreamworks Pictures
Oprah, Oprah Winfrey Show
Jason Carter, Sol Fusion & One Music Fest
Thich Nhat Hanh, Plum Village
Russell Simmons, Def Jam and Diamond Empowerment Fund
Michael Jordan, Air Jordan Brand
Nelson Mandela, South African Presidency and Abolishment of Apartheid
Dick and Rick Hoyt, Team Hoyt
John Dau, Duk Lost Boys Clinic
Dana Greene Burkhalter, Get Fit Atlanta
I’ll end with this. Everything that we see today began with an idea. An idea where individuals who were probably scared at some level: fear of failure, fear of lack of control, fear of the unknown. But the False Evidence Appearing to be Real (F.E.A.R.) did not stop them from moving forward. Fearless is taking it one step at a time. Just make the step…and BE Fearless!
“Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
Dr. Martin Luther King
4 L.I.F.E.!
Thx Rachel for BEing Fearless:)!
Mike
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The Stillness: The Peach of L.I.F.E.
The Stillness©
in the stillness is
where I live
in the stillness is
where I give
in the stillness is
where I have my being
in the stillness
is where I sing
in the stillness is
where I’m held
in the stillness I
feel at ease
in my stillness
i breathe…
~m. frazier
As I continue to live L.I.F.E. I’m am soooo fascinated with the fact that it gets juicier and juicer by the moment. Have you ever stopped to pay attention to the simple things in your L.I.F.E. Like the fact that when you bite into a sweet Georgia peach the juiciness of each bite. The kind of bite that squirts allover you and makes you step back look at the peach and just say, “Wow,” and smile. That bite is so impactful that you actually want to share it with a loved one so they can experience just how great the peach tastes.
Well, I feel like that is how L.I.F.E. is…juicy like a Georgia Peach! I take in every moment, savoring each drop, so I can in-JOY it, and not rush through eating it.
Last night I had the fortune of reconnecting with an old friend. Over the years I lost contact with this person and realized how my lack of presence in there L.I.F.E. deeply hurt them. For many years I walked through this thing called L.I.F.E. merely existing. Now, in this moment, I realize that I AM LIVING! In the moment I embrace the value of friendship and having beautifull, loving, people in my L.I.F.E.
Allow yourself to feel the stillness in your L.I.F.E. You ask what is that stillness? That quiet place where you allow God to speak to you. That place that even though there may be chaos going on about you slow yourself down to actively listen to your loved one. That moment where you pay attention to your in breath, and your out breath. That moment where you completely shut off your cell phone and pay attention to everything your child is saying to you.
Allow yourself to be with yourself for a few moments and allow the stillness to speak to you, and simply BE aware of that moment. In these moments fear, competition, worries, don’t exist. Your stillness is your TRUE essence. Simply exist in your essence.
love & light…
mike
Saturday, August 29, 2009
embrace L.I.F.E. NOW and breathe!
Hello my beautifull people!
It has been awhile since I’ve blogged…I have taken some much needed down time from writing and have been concentrating on my training. But today I in-joyed a moment today that was so simple and significant. I was eating lunch and having fun with one of my favorite past times, people-watching. As I looked over the crowd I locked in on this family because the son and daughter had me rolling with laughter.
The son had his Atlanta Falcons jersey and the daughter was apparently a cheerleader who needed to let her younger brother she knew more than him. His response was to drown her out with his paper bull-horn. Every time she spoke he would get louder & louder. All their father could do was laugh at them. In that moment the father took the time to observe his children and then laughed at and with them. He was totally present in that moment with his children. There was no concern of the economy. There was no concern of who was playing football tonight. There was not even a concern that the son was about to spill all of his food on himself..lol
The only thing that mattered was that moment. My hat went off to that father because he embraced L.I.F.E. to the fullest in THAT moment.
I began to think how our lives would change if we allow ourselves to just BE in the moment and let go of the “crackberry” lifestyle. If we did not allow what "so & so" has done to us and affect us. Or in that moment what might happen if we did not allow our anxieties of the future to control how we live our lives. If we would just allow the past to dissolve, and then empty our minds of the future, and in-JOY right now, our lives would be a lot less stressful.
Now to some this may be too altruistic and warm & fuzzy…but try it and truly embrace THIS moment and BE there. Breathe in and say, “I am here and grateful for this moment….” Breathe out and repeat the same comment. Check to see how your body feels. Allow that silence to speak to you.
Love and light...
Friday, June 26, 2009
EVERY WONDERFULL MOMENT OF L.I.F.E.!
That first note and I was hooked! Since the early 80’s I’ve loved listening to Mr. Stevie Wonderful and various artists, which are now considered to be old school R & B (lol) on WKYS with Donnie Simpson in Washington D.C. every morning with my mom on the way to Ft. Meade, MD.
This week I had the beautiful opportunity of hearing Mr. Wonderful again, but this time live in Atlanta. And as expected, he did not disappoint! As a matter of fact it was so surreal and L.I.F.E. changing that I could feel EVERY note and lyric! It was like I was 5 years old again in the basement!
Mr. Wonderful has a beautiful spirit! His light illuminated Atlanta on June 24th! This was so evident through his performance. Not only did he sing many of his classics: Living for the City, Key of Life, and my all-time favorite As! He also shared his compassion with several individuals in the audience. Leo, an 18 year-old male fighting cancer sat behind him the entire concert. Marlon, a child seeking to be adopted, had the opportunity of rapping with Stevie. And then Stevie allowed a random guy come on stage and jam with him and sing to the audience….simply amazing!
This night was also special because it was an opportunity to celebrate my best friend, Cynthia’s 43rd Day! This was her perfect birthday, and Mr. Wonderful made a wonderful moment last a L.I.F.E.time!
Thank you Stevie for sharing your spirit and such a moment full of WONDER that will last a L.I.F.E.time!
Love & Light…
Sunday, June 21, 2009
In Death There's L.I.F.E.
That day I was on top of the world until I learned that one of the kids that I used to work with was murdered here in Atlanta. All the talk of success in that moment did not mean a thing to me.
I totally understand that we (RUN4LIFE) have been and will continue to impact the lives of many youth, but you also have to understand this young man’s story. He was in the foster care system and although he was adopted and loved by many, when I knew him, he felt very alone. He looked up to his mentors, brother, and his foster mother, who died a few years prior, but he was also a byproduct of the “infamous foster care system.”
The details of his death are sketchy at best...got into an argument with someone and then gunned down! The thing that hurts the most is that he used to always say, “I probably won’t make it to 18.” According to his time table he lived longer than he thought. This week he would have been 22 years old. Although he was legally a man, he was a kid…What kind of L.I.F.E. is that to lead? To think the ceiling of your L.I.F.E. will cap out at the supposed age of adulthood? And the very fear that he confessed years ago over came him. He never wanted to be alone, and when he was murdered he was there…alone.
The reason I am sharing this is to shake us up, including myself! As long as this continues we have to be aggressive to shake up the established “norms”…the lackluster expectations of the foster care system, the blaming nature of our culture, the insidious violence, and BE FEARLESS in being proactive to save our children. He was one of our children…because ALL of our children will one day mature to become the adults of our society.
Franklin, you are loved! You are missed…
“You may be one person in the world…but to one person you may be the world!”
Volunteer, mentor, and/or positively shape the lives of your children and BE the change my beloved beautiful people! Someone out there needs your presence!
4 L.I.F.E.!
Monday, May 25, 2009
TRUE FEARLESSNESS: 7.11
As Memorial Day weekend comes to an end I cannot stop thinking about the dedication that my father provided for our country almost 33 years ago on July 11, 1976 on the USS New Orleans. My father, Sgt. Major Charles Frazier, Sr., is a Vietnam War Veteran and served 30 years in the U.S. Marine Corps during highly turbulent times. Throughout his tenure in the service he experienced many things. All the while he was one of those men who humbly did what his country asked and performed it with excellence.
One of the major challenges my father faced as an African American male was racial conflict. It was until a few years ago where my aunt informed me of the magnitude of my father’s impact while in the Corps. Since I can remember my father has always had dentures. Whenever I asked him he always evaded the topic so I just assumed that it occurred during the Vietnam War and that he simply didn’t want to discuss it.
My aunt informed me that while on his cruiser he attempted to stop a race riot between the African American soldiers and the Caucasian soldiers. As a result the African American soldiers thought that he was wrong for trying to stop the fight, and then proceeded to “jump” him in the mess hall.
In my father and another Caucasian soldier’s attempt to stop the race riot, my father’s jaw was broken by the only chair on the ship that happened to not be nailed down. Although my father was severely injured during the riot, he made a decision to not only stand for what was right, he stayed true to his commitment to his country for many years after the incident.
One of things that I always noticed about my father that he has always been a man of a few words; real down to earth, but had an uncanny sense of humor. I also remember being around 10 years old walking out of the PX with him and one of his soldiers stopping us. As they talked I tried to ignore them both as they discussed “adult stuff”, and I was just concerned about getting home to get outside and play. His soldier then turned to me and said, “You are very lucky to have a father like him.” In my 10 year-old mind, “I was like okay…I guess.” And then he made the statement that has always resonated with me, “Your father is a good man. You hear me? Your father is a good man.” For many years I wondered what he meant by that statement.
As a teenager and a young adult I struggled to agree with that statement for various reasons that were going on in my L.I.F.E: past hurts, my stubbornness, learning things the hard way, etc. But now, I KNOW exactly what his soldier meant by that statement. As you keep living, you continue to learn what makes up the fabric of a man. You learn what it truly means to live FEARLESSLY. I think about how my father made a courageous decision on 7.11 to stand for truth. He is not only a good man, but a great man! As a result, we honor a deserving RUN4LIFE youth each month during summer programming with the 7.11 Award to honor them (and my father) for their fearless efforts and leadership.
Thanks pops for being fearless! I’m proud to be your son ;)!
4 L.I.F.E.!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
BE Still...
The last few swim practices have truly been L.I.F.E. changing sessions and helped me a lot with how I approach not only swimming but my L.I.F.E. To Live In Full Expectation only means to live one way: FEARLESSLY. For me that simply means identifying my fears or things that may provoke some anxiety, embrace how I feel, and do it anyway. F.E.A.R. is an immobilizing force. That word F.E.A.R. is very tricky! It simply means False Evidence Appearing to be Real! It can literally stop people in their tracks from them accomplishing their goals and dreams. It can manifest itself through so many different ways: self-sabotage, excuses, etc.
Because I am challenging my youth & staff to live FEARLESSLY, it’s only right that the bar I have for myself is even higher. As I train for the 2009 Ironman Wisconsin, it has been a L.I.F.E.long dream to cross that infamous finish and to be declared an Ironman! As a kid, I remember sitting in front of the television watching the Hawaii Ironman and seeing Dave Scott & Scott Tinley competing for the title several times. I asked my dad, “Dad, how come no black people are out there swimming?” My dad, being his comedic self, said, “Boy, you know black people don’t swim.” As we both laughed he said, “If you want to do it, then DO IT.” I’ve taken those words and applied them to my L.I.F.E. in all capacities. And NOW the opportunity is presenting itself.
Although this is one of my L.I.F.E. Dreams it doesn’t excuse any anxieties or fears that I may possess:). For those that know me, swimming long distances has been challenge for me. But what is L.I.F.E. without a few F.E.A.R.’s to keep you on track? Swimming 2.4 miles is not the easiest thing to do in any capacity, but it’s another step closer of me achieving my goal of crossing that finish line, and giving up is not an option.
But back to my original point of my swimming practices, the last two practices our coach has made us swim with our eyes closed. I’m like…”just swimming all the mileage is difficult as it is, but now close our eyes!” LoL…But in the moments of closing my eyes I realized that if I just can BE still, relax my mind and allow the technique to carry me I will be okay. You may ask, “How can you BE still, when you’re moving?”
BE still and flow with the water. Once I relaxed and I breathed I was able to clear my mind and flowed with the water. Even though my eyes were closed, I was still able to see and know where I was going. Okay, I still ran into the lane ropes, but you get my point…lol Having the willingness to confront your F.E.A.R.’s (swimming with your eyes closed), embrace the F.E.A.R., and BEing still allows you to go with the flow, and ultimately be successful. This is a metaphor for L.I.F.E.!
No matter what you are facing: an IronMan, a L.I.F.E. struggle, living a healthier L.I.F.E.style, working in the field of your choice, dealing with the recession…just identify your F.E.A.R.’s, size them up, and then just BE still and watch yourself come alive…
Bruce Lee said it best,
“Empty your mind
Become formless, shapeless
Like water
Put water in a cup, it becomes the cup
Put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle
Put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot
Now water can flow or it can crash
Be like water my friend”
4 L.I.F.E.!